So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize