I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
