Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize