Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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