Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
