My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
