i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
