You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
