HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
