this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
