The maid of honor just puked.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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