Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
