I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
