she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
