Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
