so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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