is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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