So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
