You're completely useless in the revolution.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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