If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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