UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
