bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
