It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
