There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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