marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize