There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
