Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
