elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
