I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No subtext here. People are naked.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
