I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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