Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Found your dick twin last night
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
