Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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