Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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