she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
