just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
