Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
