There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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