It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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