He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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