SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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