so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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