she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
