omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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