great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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