just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
