So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
