He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
