And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
