But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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