i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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