ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
