Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
