is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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