I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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