just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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