the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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