I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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