Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize