Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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